Tom Rauch

Got Strengths?

Of course you do, we all do. But how much time do you set aside every day to build on your strengths? Be honest!

For most people — myself included — building on their strengths is something they “should” do or do when they have the time. In reality, most people never do. They don’t even know how to talk about their strengths in meaningful ways: how to build on them, continue to develop them, see them in action. Perhaps most important, many people continue to engage in activities and pursue careers that do NOT play to their strengths, which leads to stress, disappointment, feelings of resignation (“oh well, that’s just the way life is.”)

If I had to guess, around 10% of the people in the US spend time working on their strengths. A 2008 study conducted by Marcus Buckingham (author of several books about strengths-building) noted that about 14% of employees believed they played to their strengths everyday.

The benefits of playing to your strengths, and continuing to build on them, are now well documented. People who focus on what they do really well report higher levels of engagement with their work, and greater overall satisfaction with their lives. They love what they do, and they do it very well. They don’t get caught up doing things they hate doing and aren’t very good at it — they figure out ways to manage around their “weaknesses” not just to avoid unpleasant tasks but as a way of eliminating distractions.

People who build on and play to their strengths make more money. They are experts, league-leaders, authorities in their field. They attract new clients and keep existing ones through what I call an “infectious enthusiasm.” People in their presence want to experience that inspiration, the belief that significant, meaningful change is possible — even probable.

People who know their strengths and take care of them are — happy. I mean think about it: if you were able to go to work (at a business or as a solo practitioner) doing what you love each and every day, and have others be grateful that you are — how would that change your life? The stuff you hate doing? You give it to people who love doing it, because it plays to their strengths.

There are several places you can go to identify and cultivate your strengths. I encourage you to read books by Tom Rath and Marcus Buckingham.  The “godfather” of positive psychology — Martin Seligman — has also written extensively about the relationship between strengths and living a fulfilled life.

Here’s a list I came up with based on the work I’ve done helping people (especially leaders, managers, coaches and holistic practitioners) describe their strengths to themselves and other people.

Which one (or two) resonate with you?

1. I’m a relationship strategist
2. I help people get unstuck
3. I get to the story behind the problem
4. I get people to push themselves harder and further
5. I help people get what they want
6. I help people close the gap between where they are and where they want to be
7. I help managers be better leaders
8. I take the pain out of managing people
9. I help people contribute and connect
10. I get people to learn from their problems

Just like anything else involving growth and development, consistency and focus is key.

Are you leading YOUR league?

Professional baseball players who can hit the ball hard and consistently well get paid a lot of money.

You’re a professional, right?  Probably not a ball player, but you do get paid to do something.

What’s your equivalent of hitting the ball hard and consistently well?  Delivering on your sales figures?  Eliminating costs?  Bringing in new business?  Creating new products and services?  For me, as a business coach, its about marketing myself and getting results for my clients.

Am I leading the league?  Definitely not.  There are coaches out there who do way better than me.  But I would someday like to lead the league in my equivalent of hitting.

What does it take to lead the league in hitting, versus being “pretty good”?  I know, it sounds like a lot.

Let’s take a look at Billy Williams who used to play for the Chicago Cubs (and Oakland A’s!).  Billy was inducted into baseball’s Hall of Fame in 1987.

Billy also led the league in hitting in 1972, when his average was .333.  The next year, he played about the same number of games (156 in 1973, 150 in 1972 ) and — more important — had about the same number of at-bats (576 in ‘73, 574 in ‘72).

But in 1973, the year after he won the batting title, he hit .288.  Don’t get me wrong, that’s a solid number.  But no one is going to lead any league hitting .288.

So how many hits separated Billy from winning the batting title in ‘72 and doing pretty well in ‘73?

Put away your calculator.  It was 25.  Twenty-five hits.  Over a 153 (on average) game season.  Over 575 (on average) at-bats.  Twenty-five lousy hits.  That’s one extra hit every 6 games. One (1) extra hit every 23 at-bats.

Wow.  When I broke it down into those numbers, I was floored!  I guess I thought to lead the league you had to get at least one extra hit every game.

And that’s exactly my point.  We psyche ourselves out of doing what it takes to be league-leading in our profession because it looks too hard, or it will take too much effort, or the people who do it are specially blessed with super-talent we don’t possess.

Right.  We don’t do what great hitters like Billy Williams do which is stay focused over the long term. Do all the little things that add up over the course of a season.  Instead, we drift.  We get distracted.  We forget the bigger picture.  We don’t stay sharp through training and coaching and learning from other players.

Try this simple exercise:

1.  What’s your equivalent of hitting the ball hard and consistently well?
2.  What’s your current batting average?
3.  What would a “league leading” average look like?

I believe you will find that its doing one or two small things consistently that gets you from a mediocre batting average to leading your league.  Don’t boil the ocean when it comes to figuring out how to take your business to the next level.  Keep it simple to perform like a league-leader.

(You can also find this article at: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Tom_Rauch)

Resiliency

What it is we mostly know; “resiliency” is a familiar word.  How we acquire it and maintain it — especially during troubling, uncertain times — is another matter altogether.

Being able to bounce back from life’s adversities is one of the keys to a successful and fulfilled life.  When we can not only get up off the mat after being pummeled by one of life’s body blows, but emerge wiser, stronger, smarter, more caring and empathetic, we experience a tremendous victory.  Perhaps showing resiliency is the closest we’ll ever come in this life to being re-born.

Why are some people resilient and others not?  Some people may be resilient, but inconsistently: they recover from one set back but seem to never shake another.

Researchers are finding some evidence — far from conclusive — that the structure of a certain gene that affects serotonin levels in the brain  (5-HTT) may account for the difference in people’s ability to “bounce back” after a traumatic event. Other researchers argue that (in the case of an abused child), he or she “still needs the ingredients that promote resilience — adults she can trust, the reinforcements that make her believe in herself.”  (http://www.nytimes.com/2006/04/30/magazine/30abuse.html)

In other words, brain chemistry and genetics may play a role in helping people be and stay resilient.  But without the proper social support, even the people with the strongest predisposition to resiliency may have a very tough time persevering.

So, a couple of things to think about:

1.  if you are in need of some “resiliency training” because you’ve experienced a loss or a set back, reach out for help.  Get around people who you trust and can reinforce in your basic goodness, the things that make you whole and complete and valuable.  This can be particularly hard for men, who are conditioned to believe that they have to “tough it out.”  Drop the story.  Reach out and ask for the help and support you need. You might also try some specific training suggested by Karen Salmansohn who’s written on the subject of resiliency, especially as it relates to career transitions:

If you find that you are stuck in negative thoughts try this. Tell yourself you are only allowed three negativity appointments of three minutes each in a day. Space them a few hours part. So if you felt negative at noon, don’t let yourself feel negative until 3 p.m. Use procrastination on your negative thinking.

(http://shiftingcareers.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/06/04/training-the-mind-for-resiliency/)

2.  The other side of the coin is helping others become more resilient.  If you know someone in your community who could use a trusted friend to help them bounce back, why not let that person be you?  Don’t ignore the reality of the circumstances that brought them to a place of need.  That situation has to be looked at candidly, objectively, and with a great deal of compassion.  At the same time, help them see all their good qualities too.  Don’t  tell them that they’re great, help them show themselves how great they are.

By lending this kind of support, you will grow too, and be part of the miracle of resiliency that can grow in each and everyone of us, everyday.

Deep Survival

From the book “Deep Survival: Who Lives, Who Dies, and Why” by Laurence Gonzales

The principles (I learned about wilderness survival) apply to any stressful, demanding situation, such as getting through a divorce, losing a job, surviving an illness, recovering from an injury, or running a business in a rapidly changing world.

Its easy to imagine that wilderness survival would involve equipment, training and experience.  It turns out, at the moment of truth (when a crisis hits), those might be good things to have but they aren’t decisive.  Those of us who go into the wilderness or seek our thrills in contact with the forces of nature soon learn, in fact, that experience training and modern equipment can betray you.  The maddening thing for someone with a Western scientific turn of mind is that it’s not what’s in your pack that seperates the quick from the dead.  Its not even what’s in your mind.  Corny as it sounds, its what’s in your heart.

Amen.

So you may not be in “deep survival” mode right now, the way Gonzales defines it (being lost in the wilderness, adrift at sea, etc.) but the lessons he learned from his experiences are applicable to the financial meltdown we are all facing today.  People are losing their jobs, their homes, their self-esteem and identity.  Worse yet, the “map of the world” for many people has changed dramatically.  Once familiar and supposedly stable institutions have failed us, and will continue fail as the economic crisis works its way through a broken financial system.

Gonzales does an excellent job describing the shared qualities survivor’s possess:

1) They recognize that their world has changed; even though they might be the world’s best mountain climber, situations can change dramatically and quickly.  Many people who don’t survive — as it turns out — try to make this new world look exactly like the old one.

2) Survivors maintain an open mind, a curiosity about what’s going on outside in the external environment, but also what’s going on inside of themselves.  They don’t panic, but they also don’t take things too casually.  They above all resist the temptation to impose old modes of operation that were successful in the past, but given the new environment will very likely get them killed.

3)  The people who survive being lost rely on these qualities: humility, commitment, empathy, imagination, and total commitment.  He also makes the case — which I know sounds weird — that the struggle to survive can be laced with joy, humor and gratitude.  He has plenty of stories of people who found themselves, at their concentrated core, when they lived through terrific ordeals.  In surviving, they began thriving.

The place you are now may be exceptionally stressful.  It is for a lot of people.  Do you want to come out of this experience the same way you went in?  Or do you want to use this as an opportunity to make you stronger?  More compassionate and empathic?  Less anxious and more calm?

If you do, be prepared to throw out some of your tried-and-true methods for managing your life.  Some mental models will still work, but others won’t.  Relying on out-dated, ineffective models may prolong your stress.  Why not take some time to figure which one’s you should keep and which you should modify or discard?